by Carey & Dena Dyer
February 04th, 2016

She Says

 When Carey and I first met, I was drawn to many things about him. His heart for God was super-attractive; his clothes, not so much.

 I have photos from the first few years of knowing my hubby which could be fodder for blackmail in future years (I’ll never tell where they are). Suffice it to say, my love for him blossomed while my concern about his obvious deficit in fashion also grew.

 It wasn’t until he had an eye exam in his late thirties that we discovered he had an actual condition. This malady causes him to not see colors correctly. (I knew it!)

 We now have a very big rule in the Dyer house: Carey does not go shopping without me. We’ve learned the hard way that any solo trip to the mall will result in a pile of clothes which don’t go together. (They do to him, but in reality they clash.)

 It’s a good thing that early on, he learned to trust me implicitly. Either that, or he’s tired of wasting money on clothes he can’t wear.

 And you know what? It’s really not a big deal. After all, he’s blind to many of my faults, so I’ll take his color-challenged fashion sense any day.


He Says

 I don’t “suffer” from my own color blindness.  I’m quite fine with it, actually.  However, Dena has suffered from my color blindness for years – mostly by having to be seen with me in public when I’ve dressed myself.

 I have what doctors refer to as red/green deficiency. I’m not good at distinguishing between different shades of certain colors (for me, some reds, blues and purples). Incidentally, I have researched enough to know that cows are also red/green color blind. Unfortunately, this similarity between me and my bovine brethren has not prevented me from regularly partaking of copious amounts of red meat. . .at least, I think it was red.  

 In college, I would occasionally get around this color confusion by wearing the same color pants and shirt.  I reasoned, “If it’s the exact same color, then I know it matches.”  This resulted in me looking like a toddler wearing a 1980’s Garanimals “outfit”.  Perhaps the culmination of this short-lived, monochromatic style was the day that I wore all light brown.  I entered the cafeteria to confidence-boosting howls of “Here comes the UPS man!” (a nickname that lasted for longer than I like to admit). 

 And now that I’m a quasi-adult, the prelude to certain date nights finds me sitting on the edge of the bed, half-dressed and patiently waiting for my wife to come out of the restroom, so that I can ask her like a 5-year-old, “Does this match?” 

 “No, sweetie,” she says, kindly leaving off the “bless your heart.”

 Dena helps me.  She’s quite good at color-coordinating her inept hubby’s clothes.  Even in something as silly as my hang-ups with hues, the Lord put us together to complement each other, to fill in each other’s gaps. 

 Certainly, as Christians our wholeness and identity are found in Christ alone. However, I’m also certain that one reason that my mate and I became one flesh was to strengthen each other as individuals.  I am a stronger me with her. 

 Fun announcement: Carey and Dena's humorous marriage devotional book, Love at First Fight: 52 Meditations for Couples, will be available this fall from Barbour Publishing! 

Bio: Carey and Dena have been married for twenty-one years and have two sons. They live in Granbury, Texas, which is big enough to have a Wal-Mart but not an Olive Garden. The Dyers are the co-authors of Love at First Fight: 52 Story-Based Meditations for Married Couples (Barbour).

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